Winter has come early...

 

Winter has come early this year….

It wasn’t even Thanksgiving when we got our first snow accumulation. My daughter experienced her first real snow day. But with that beautiful white fluffy snow, and fleeting flower snowman has come the gloom of update New York winters.

Cloudcover, mucky slush, rain, freezing rain, snow, dirty snow, salty cars, salty roads, early evenings. Its really a downer. I am lucky to have a great view from my office, but even its beauty is depleted by constant grey skys. So I am avid about my indoor gardening.

My home faces north and I don’t have a lot of great windows for plants but at work, ahh, the light is perfect and my houseplants are happy.

Summer, I focus on my yard but winter, I focus on my office garden.  It keeps me happy, it gives me purpose and I breathe cleaner air for it.

 

So if you are experiencing the winter blues already like me, consider some indoor plants. 

Some of mine are even getting ready for winter blooms, my orchid and Christmas cactus are budding I ll post pics one they bloom.

A Realistic Family Size Quiz

What is the right family size? A Career Woman’s honest “quiz”

According to statistics most families would answer this question by saying two children, a boy and a girl about three years apart. That is what my current family looks like. While I planned the age gap clearly I didn’t plan the genders. But how do you know that’s right for you? This is really to help decide if you want a small family or a larger family. If you don’t want kids, this won’t make you want them. And that’s ok too. 

Now if you are like me, a researchaholic, then you would take a million online quizzes, read articles and analyze the statistics to help you decide your family size. But that doesn’t seem to help me. Surprise. Questions like do you like the look of a family of six at the mall or are you ok with a minivan don’t answer this question.

 My ‘quiz’ are questions more for people deciding to grow their family rather than have a family. I feel like either you want a family or you don’t. But, how big of a family can be hard to determine. 

So how about these questions:

1-      How old are you? 

·         I had my kids at 30 and 33 and I can only imagine that it would have been easier in my 20s but I wasn’t ready emotionally, financially, or where I wanted to be in my career. My Husband was NOWHERE near ready. He wasn’t sure he was ready when we had our daughter (she was a real surprise that came the year after we married and after 7 years together- I was told children may not be in the cards for me medically) That said I think I would still be up to another, given the perfect storm. But I don’t want to be too old and have trouble being there for them and altering my ability to retire. 

2-      How are you [and your significant other] handling your family? 

·         Does one of you seems to be struggling or have you found it rewarding. Similarly, is one sure they know how many they want, because it’s not fair to force them into more children. For us we seem to have found our stride. 

3-      How many kids were in your family and your significant others? 

4-      Did you have a happy childhood? Did they? 

·         These factor in to what you think is an ideal family size.

5-      How are your finances, because kids are EXPENSIVE?

·         Yes, you can have a big family and be ok but for most of us it will
Impact our lifestyles

6-      Do you both want to keep your careers?

·          Statistically, three or more children means one parent is going to need to stay home or work part time because of the work and cost of child care.

7-      What’s your support system? Are your parents or other family nearby and willing to help with childcare?

·         Childcare is more than my mortgage. Its more like my mortgage and my student loans, which are a mortgage in and of themselves. This is a huge factor for us. If we didn’t have this cost I think my husband would be way more open to more.

8-      What are your expectations for your children?

·         Meaning, do you want to travel with them? Are you into designer only clothes? college...PS id say help but don’t pay – my personal experience is that people who didn’t have a financial investment in their education didn’t take it as seriously as those who had to pay the bills when it was over.

9-      Housing costs- what are they like in your community?

·         Can you afford a house big enough for a large family. Yes, some of our parents and grandparents were raised in two or three bedrooms with 6 kids. Times change. Can you afford to give kids their own room? Or same gender children share a room with a playspace? How much space do you want or need for yourself? Think about it, really. 

10-   Why do you want kids?

·         Is it because you love your sibling(s)? Is it because your children or the thought of children are your greatest joys? Is it because you are lost and looking for meaning? 

11-   How are your pregnancies and deliveries? 

·         Do you feel like wonder woman? Or is pregnancy a chartreuse wool sweater that looks terrible on you- this is me:  Hyperemesis Gravidarum- constant 9 months of vomiting all day every day and Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction- an extremely painful pelvic condition that lasts, for me, from 16 weeks pregnant and doesn’t fully go away until 6 months postpartum. How are deliveries? Do you labor two hours and its over? Do you have to have C-sections (for your own health you should only have so many- this is for you and your doctor to determine what is safe). Do you carry full term? Other complications? All of these are safety issues to consider. Having a big family shouldn’t cost you or a child their life. People do still die in childbirth. I think we all take this for granted in a developed country. 

12-   Factors important to you. This is where the minivan, me time, and life’s little luxuries come in. 

·         Questions like if you need me time are great, but if you want kids and need me time, you will find it. If you are anxious like I am, you need a significant other that can see it coming and lend a helping hand. Also, know this:  It is NORMAL for kids to stress a marriage or relationship. Its normal to question things. But it doesn’t mean it’s the end. It means having a family is hard. Worth it. Tremendously worth it. But hard. 

We are probably done. I have a career I love outside the home as does my husband, my supportive family lives too far to help with daily childcare, I have tough pregnancies and deliveries, and a husband who feels we have the perfect family. Sometimes he entertains my questioning as to whether three is the right number, but really, am I romanticizing my childhood? Am I afraid that I am breastfeeding my last baby, cuddling my last baby and will miss these days? I love my sister and want my daughter to have that, but I can’t control gender of a hypothetical third baby and can’t she be close to her brother? Would another make me not feel this way, or would I just be prolonging the inevitable? I also admit that because I had been told from age 16 that kids would not happen (doctors don’t know everything) that I didn’t consider these questions earlier in life. Even if I did, what we fanaticize about isn’t always what we want in real life. So, who knows, maybe we will change our minds. Maybe I will wake up one day ready to face the challenges head on because we are meant for a threesome.  But until then, I will be taking my quiz when I’m not sure and enjoying my little ones, and hoping for nieces and nephews for future baby fixes.

Newborn and Mommy get the Flu

It happened. I never leave as I said in a previous post. We hibernate during flu season with winter babies. But I mean we do see people. and i always let other people hold the baby because its important for him to be able to go to someone besides me so that I can run errands, go back to work, and to decrease stress for him around others.
He was 7 weeks old when my daughters birthday came, which was Superbowl. We had a family party, just uncles, aunts, and grandparents on that Saturday and we had some friends over on Superbowl who all have small children and babies so we figured they too would be flu conscious. I put hand sanitizer on ever surface and asked that everyone just wash their hands when handling the baby.
The road to hell is paved with good intentions. And my good intentions were not rewarded.
My mother in law, unwittingly, brought the flu to us. She didn't have symptoms until Monday. I didn't know she had it and started feeling dizzy and developed a cough on Tuesday. Tuesday night my husband informed me 'ohh mom has the flu.' I freaked. I went immediately to urgent care and demanded a flu test which they thought was crazy because I didn't have flu symptoms. Well,I tested positive for the flu. I started to cry and asked what to do about the baby. I started tamiflu. I called the pediatrician for advice. I kept breastfeeding, disinfected the house top to bottom, worse a mask, washed my hands constantly, applied hand sanitizer as well for good measure.
I started to feel better and continued to wear a mask. My husband sealed our fate though one week after I got sick. He declares that the baby didn't get it.  That afternoon he had discharge in his eye. I called the doctor. They said ohh its nothing if there's no fever. That night he came down with a high fever and we were sent by our pediatrician to the Emergency Room. A bunch of tests later, he also tested positive for the flu. It was so scary. We had to check in with the pediatrician. He developed a ear infection and every time he sneezed, coughed, snorted, whined I jumped. I would not take my eyes off of him. Grandparents came in to help watch him so I could do basic things because I was unwilling to even go to the bathroom without eyes on him. I was so scared he would choke or his airway would block and he would die. I was scared his fever would shoot up if i wasn't checking him constantly and he would have a seizure. I've said it before, I'm a worrier. But he is a toughy and we made it. We are both on the mend and I cant believe how well it went. I don't recommend it of course but the doctor said we had a best case scenario and its because we caught it so early and got him on Tamiflu early.
The following week my mother in law tested positive for the OTHER strain of flu. I politely told her we wouldn't be seeing her any time soon. I cant handle going through that again. But my worst fears were realized and we survived. We basically lost the month of February to illness but I can't complain because we made it through.
My best advise is act fast. if you think something is wrong don't hesitate, even if your husband thinks your crazy or even your doctor. you know best. Trust your gut. I wasn't able to prevent the flu but I was able to make sure we survived it, in one of hte most deadly flu seasons in recent history.

Blog Lover

I have been really slacking on my blogging as of late. Toss it off to a heavy workload at work, exhaustion from potty training and stubborn 2 year old, exhaustion from my pregnancy, and desperately trying to get ready for baby no. 2 (which I'm failing at miserably and may have a baby in a drawer in ten weeks- exaggeration but you get my point.)

Nonetheless, while I am currently living in a state of rearrangement chaos at home (due to changing the office/overflow clothes storage and whatever else I throw in there to a nursery) I still love home and design blogs. 

I do find it hard to balance a styled home with a cluttered home. Its a balance: decorated but not cluttered or overwhelming.  I think a lot of people like me who love a beautiful home but aren't natural, or professional, interior designers and cant afford to hire one, struggle with.

So here's a list of some blogs I like for inspiration:

https://www.kellyelko.com/
- This blog used to be called eclectically vintage. And that's what I like about it. Eclectic and vintage are two things that work in my transitional, comfortable, farmhouse touches, natural element personal style.

http://www.thewoodgraincottage.com/
- Great if your are into natural elements and or farmhouse style. The only issue is that she seems to have taken a bit into that cluttered overwhelming stage. Its seems like there is now a lot going on. So I honestly don't check this as regularly. That said she has some great ideas and i love a good DIY project inspiration. She also uses texture like no other!

http://thenester.com/
This is one of the first Home interior blogs that I got into. She was a renter that had done a fantastic job making rentals look like home on a budget. a few years ago they bought and remodeled an old mill house. I don't know if her style has changed or mine but im not as in love with the styling as of late but her motto is "It doesn't have to be perfect to be beautiful" and that's a motto I want to live by.

http://houseofturquoise.com/
This is a color design blog. And to know me is to know my obsession with all things turquoise or any tealish/minty shade. She posts some of her own home but mostly swoons at design posts from other blogs or magazines. If you love the upbeat color like I do, this is a must.

http://cococozy.com/
This one i follow more on instagram and twitter than anything. Its not totally my taste but sometimes i need a change and something chic. This is my go to for that.

http://dearlillieblog.blogspot.com/
This one, can this woman please come decorate my house. She just gets me. Sophisticated, rustic, great wall color usage (I'm just not a white wall girl) but not colored.  I mean clearly she has good taste we even named our daughters the same name! I love this one. Alot.

*I have no relationship with these bloggers other than I am a reader.

Over committed

I am over committed. I haven't blogged in a while because of it. I haven't done a lot of things, like organize my drawers, file the mail, clean up the storage closet, put away the last size of baby clothes, that are still sitting in the bottom of my daughters closet and the list goes on.

I am over committed at work. I have a number of assignments that are incredibility time consuming. I am I love my work, its totally fulfilling but, it can be draining. I mean I am not that special, people always say government workers are lazy, they don't do their work on time. Its not true, we have so much work that we cant get it all done, well at least most of us, there are of course a few...

I am overcommitted in my personal life. I am on my alumni committee, I am a matron of honor in a wedding this year (one of my best friends) and next year (my sister) and a bridesmaid (my brother). I am attending other weddings, communions, baby showers, throwing parties for family members and the list of events go on. My husband isn't much better, with two jobs, in weddings and overcommitted.

We give. We give to our families, our friends but not so much ourselves. And no one seems to notice and say 'hey do you  guys need anything?'

I spend a lot of time thinking about my breaking point. Sometimes I feel like I'm getting close to it.

Will today be the day that pushes me over the edge?

Will I totally lose it and refuse to go to work or throw things all over the house because I'm losing the battle on cleanliness?

Its is very possible that tomorrow might be the day. Or the next. I mean if I have to deal with one more responsibility I might go crazy, be that crazy woman in the grocery store that talks to herself in a sarcastic tone, her hair is a mess and she looks like a zombie. That might be me soon.
But until then I will just keep bringing this candle from both ends. As I'm sure most working moms feel.

A quick note on a Mom Blog

I sometimes feel that modern mothering can be isolating and constantly defeating. You work full time then you come home and do all the housework, cooking, cleaning (I cant justify a cleaning lady in my budget) pay the bills, spend time with your child (you know that quality time that you need to squeeze in between work and bed), do the bath time routine, do the bedtime routine, and then I'm totally shot. I mean really, my DVR is so full I don't know if I have enough room for this weeks shows.  (I'm not knocking stay at home moms. They don't have it easier either. Yes they can cook and clean while caring for the kids but you still have to take care of the kids - so I do believe that it might be easier to get everything in during your day, I don't necessarily think its easier).
Then there is Pinterest which I love, but it shows you how awesome others are and how not awesome you are. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, where we put the best of the best and never show the reality behind the camera. And at the end of the day your exhausted and you cant understand why you couldn't paper-mâché a ballerina and crochet a mermaid blanket all while meticulously decorating your immaculately clean home...

Sometimes its just too much. So I read momtastic a few times a week. A blog written by real moms with real stories about their life, which usually isn't so perfect. Celebrity moms and moms next door, single moms, married moms, stay at home moms, working moms, they are all covered. Complain about your husband not understanding, the reality of a picky eater, questions for others- Its all there. I really love this blog. I have no association to them, but I wish they wanted me to write for them. Its awesome!

Party for a Purpose

Over the weekend, my husband, myself, sister, 'to be' brother-in-law and a number of our friends attended a fundraiser for a foundation in memory of our teammate that died of cancer at the age of 21. Kellie was a happy inspiring person, before, during and now after her battle with cancer. She always remembered to be kind and put others first. She really didn't have a mean bone in her body.

Her family started this foundation in her memory and continue to do the work she was doing. We also started a scholarship for our college rugby team in her name.

Its funny though, its been a few years now and I don't feel as emotional about it anymore. She had died before I had my cancer and while another '20 something' friend of ours had beat his cancer. She reminded us that we are fallible. Nonetheless, I look forward.

But at the fundraiser her always positive father, clearly the source of her positivity, got up and gave a speech. He told us that in the moment, BE KIND. That's how we will honor her memory.

At that moment I started to cry. I did not always remember to be kind. To be honest its my first instinct to be defensive and aggressive; I have to consciously act kind. I don't fail necessarily at being kind but, it doesn't really come naturally to a glass half full, a lot of shit has gone down in my years, kinda person. Another reason for my emotional outburst was that I don't know if I could have been him. Standing there laughing, smiling, reminding us to be kind. He watched his child die. A wonderful person whose life was cut too short. He was with her when she decided to stop treatment because it wasn't working. He was with her when she couldn't eat but wanted to drink her last Keystone (she would have been a senior in college and it was only fitting that it be a cheap college beer). I think I may have crawled in a hole and never recovered. I get depressed if I have a car accident, if my basset hound stinks up my blankets and if there is sticky on the floor from my daughters snack. But not them. They started the foundation shortly after her death. They donate money to the college and our scholarship. They continue her charitable work in Haiti. They remember to BE KIND.




My 'to be' sister-in-law sent a letter to each bridesmaid describing the others. Under my name she said I was classy if not anything. I never think of myself that way. I always see myself as a hot mess barely holding it together and struggling to remember to be kind to others. It was such a compliment to be called classy. But, if she had called me kind, would I have seen that as an insult? Would I have thought she thought I was weak? Probably. And I would have been wrong. So I will graciously accept classy, but I am going to keep working on being KIND. Because Kellie understood something in her 21 years that I am still struggling with. And if she died to teach the rest of us the importance of kindness, then I will strive to honor her legacy.

Because kindness is not a weakness, its a sign of strength, compassion and class.  Thank you to Kellie and her family for showing me that.

Halloween! Our first time trick or treating!

This year was my daughters first year trick or treating. My husband even carved a mickey mouse clubhouse inspired pumpkin in honor of her favorite show.

We only made it to five houses before she had a meltdown but she did pretty well considering she isn't two yet. She wouldn't say trick or treat but, she knew that if she put that pumpkin our they would put a treat in it. After the first house she ran to the next one. She wouldn't give up her bink but, she did drop her play cell phone in her pumpkin. Everyone thought she was so cute, we went to some of our neighbors that I have gotten to know. Especially me. I almost felt teary eyed when I saw how big she had gotten. Where does the time go?

I know I cant stop her from growing up, and I don't want to, but I do with the days would go slower, at least the hours where I get to spend them with her. I never thought motherhood was for me and now all I want is to be a mom and a homemaker (basically because I love to DIY, clean and decorate lol). Yea, I love my job and its a huge part of me and my personality. I definitely couldn't stand not making my own money. And I don't think being in the house all day would be good for my mental health.  And even if I could stand it, we couldn't afford it. Nonetheless, I have to admit, being a mom is way better than a thought it would be. On Halloween with little kids running around excited for candy in their cute costumes, I remembered what it was to be a kid and how lucky I was to have one of my own.

Why Children NEED Pets

I feel quite strongly about this issue. Many of my co-workers think I'm crazy to have two dogs, a cat, and a toddler. They can't understand why I would take on so much extra work for an animal. One feels some sort of weird distain for animals, which in my opinion is a sign that something is wrong with them and that they are not to be trusted because that's just not natural. I admit pets aren't for everyone. If you travel a lot, have mobility issues, financial restrains, certain housing issues, or other various reasons then a pet may not be for you. But for me, pets bring me great joy and increase my qualify of life.

Further, I don't know any different and honestly I don't want to.

Background:
I grew up with a dog and a cat... and two turtles, 5 rabbits , fish tanks, lizards (warning crickets chirp at night on feeding night), hermit crabs (warning they smell) and I'm sure some other stuff along the way. The dog had ALOT of energy and as a result spent a lot of time outside. She wasn't neglected or anything, she had a very nice shelter, was fed and watered, given medical care, played with, exercised but, I look back and wish I had been old enough to fight to keep her in with us more.  (I was only 4 when we got her.)

My parents saw no issue at that time with a dog being outside, as them now and they couldn't fathom it because who would keep them warm at night?

My paternal grandfather raised hunting dogs. Beagles mostly. They were, from what I understand, award winning hunting dogs and a family friend still breeds dogs from his line. My grandfather didn't do it for money, in fact I don't think he even took much money for the dogs, as long as they were going to good homes that really wanted them. My grandfather loved the outdoors and he, my father, their cousins and friends hunted together regularly. (Yes being an environmentalist, an outdoorsman and a hunter are not counter intuitive.) They loved the dogs but, with so many and a small house they had kennels. That's normal for hunting dogs. They weren't the house dog, my grandma had one of those as well. They also always had a large German Shepard mix to protect the kennels from animals and theft. If you ask me the 'guard dogs' were really ponies for me and tea party playmates but, I guess I saw a different side of them. My mother grew up in the country and also didn't think it weird to keep a dog outside.

But times have changed and now the dogs sleep in our beds, vacation with us and get their own Christmas stockings (ok well they always had Christmas stockings.)

Every house needs a cat and I'm not a cat person. They do their own thing mostly and if you have an indoor cat the litter sucks but,  its been found that a cats purr can help heal joints and other injuries (here's a link)  and if you get a mouse they come in handy as well.

But, as usual, I digress...

The Need for a Pet:
So on to why CHILDREN NEED A PET. I am talking specifically about the common pets, dogs and cats, but any kind of pet can teach these lessons. There are so many benefits to children who have pets and here's 7 Reasons:

1. Pets teach love. Doggie kisses, night time snuggles, a little or big shadow, learning to hug and gently pet your pets is huge. The love you feel for a pet and the dedication and unconditional love they give back is incomparable to anything else.

2. Pets teach kindness. This builds on love. "You had to be gentle with the dog." "Pet the cat nicely and she will purr." The pet had to learn to be gentle with the baby as well. The pets are our responsibility and we must love them and show them kindness.  If we can't be kind to a life we are responsible for how can we expect our children to be kind to strangers on the street or animals in the wild?

3. Pets teach respect. Even the gentlest dog or cat had its limits. Children learn that there are boundaries and that you must respect the dogs food bowl, ball or tail or whatever that pet sees as a boundary. You must respect the dog/cat pet and in return the pet respects and in the case of a dog protects you.

4. Pets teach patience. They can't speak, logic through an issue or think like us. They know food is food and no matter how well trained, given the chance, I've never seen a dog resist a hotdog.  You must learn that you can't leave things to tempt them and that you have to understand that they are animals. Sometimes a dirty sock seems like a good chew toy.  They don't care that your in a hurry if they haven't found that perfect spot to do their business. You must have patience with an animal.

5. Pets provide companionship. An only child doesn't feel alone if their parents are busy because they can play with the dog or just 'watch' TV together. Fighting with your sibling? Don't worry Spot knows just how to make you feel better. You have a new baby sister and mom is always holding her? Well your cat will make a perfect baby. (My poor cat knew this all to well, she wore a baby bonnet and was held like a baby more than she wasn't.) I can go do laundry in the basement and not take a baby monitor. If she wakes from her nap or starts crying the dogs come get me. If she's getting a clean diaper don't worry the one dog must sit and watch every time and wont leave the room first. The dog is the family's companion.

6. Pets teach responsibility. The dog needs to go out or be walked. The floors need to be swept more because of pet hair. The cat litter needs to be cleaned or the dogs yard 'presents' need to be cleaned up. They must be fed, brushed, taught commands, taken to the vet, exercised and so on. These tasks may add to your 'to do' list but, having children help with these tasks, when age appropriate, can help teach your children what it is to be responsible for another living creature. A task that most children will face in adulthood.

7. Pets are good for your health. This is a fact, they have done numerous studies on this. Children who grow up with pets are less likely to have allergies, owning a pet decreases blood pressure, cholesterol and triglyceride levels, pets give their owners a sense of purpose and are often used in a therapy setting as they also increase mood. I'm sure there are other benefits but, these are some of the most common ones cited in studies.

So if you are contemplating the extra work of a pet and have a child, maybe this list will help you decide.

  ~ Amy

Someone said I should blog....

Over the weekend I attended a bridal shower for a college friend.  While sipping sangria at the table someone got a stain. I quickly rattled off some cleaning tips and just thought we would move on. But one woman, we also went to college together, commented on how I seem to know how to clean everything. Its true, my mom always wanted to get stains out and there wasn't money to just throw something away and get a new one because of a small hole or a stain. We mended our clothes and removed stains. Now, I'm not saying we let things get thread barren but, we didn't toss something for sometime small. We simply fixed it.

My college roommate then talked about how I turned her on to Lestoil, my favorite laundry cleaner for oily stains and red sauces, the other woman goes to me "you should start a blog!" 'Well, I said, in fact I have. I doubt too many read it but, I figure when my daughter is grown and wants to find my cleaning solutions that she can check here.'

I thought it was such a compliment! I hope that someday my daughter does use this as a resource and teaches our tricks to others.  Then my mothers legacy will live on :)

Just Call me Suzy Homemaker

On Sunday, I decided to tackle some tasks outside while the weather was still with me. I had some things that I wanted to paint, if it isn't neutral it needs to be, and my pesky pinecone wreath still hadn't been sprayed. So I took to spraying the items that had piled up, the wreath picture frames, etc. If you had read my past posts I'm sure you have realized that I am crazy for spray-paint. Particularly spray paint that is black, white, metallic, and that's it really. So here's the wreath:

My husband agreed to forgo his beloved football, as long as he could check the stats, and help me winterize while we were outside. Let me tell you, winterizing and spray painting can be challenging tasks when you have a 20 month old. She was constantly climbing on things as we moved them around, getting under tarps and covers and even grabbed a few sprayed items resulting is war-calls on my part to prevent her from wiping the paint on her jacket. Luckily, her favorite dog was willing to entertain her a bit.

In the end we got alot done. Hoses were put away, lawn items that don't like our northeastern winters brought in, birdbath tipped, table covered, and my chairs stacked and covered.

However, we are having an Indian summer. I feel the last few years we have had this where the fall is as warm as summer.  In fact today it is over 80 degrees. As a result my flower pots still look pretty good. While I did prep my front steps for fall with pumpkins and a mum, the buckets in the back were too pretty to dump/cover, so I will have to go back out. Its worth it for a few more weeks of pretty color. I also left my screen room chairs uncovered since my toddler has a obsession with going out there to play. She is going to be VERY upset when it gets too cold.


ONCE we were done with that I decided to do some baking. I made a chicken pot pie, a apple pie, and homemade applesauce. Let me tell you, don't use salt in your applesauce! I used a online recipe and it called for a small amount of salt, that in the end pretty much ruined my applesauce. But my pot pie and apple pie were perfection. The apples I picked off the trees myself and  made the crust myself (my great-grandmothers recipe).

I took the pie to work because my husband and I are trying to watch our weight, and it was a huge hit! People said it was the best pie they had ever had. Glad to hear I made my mom proud. But to be honest, on Sunday I would have made Martha Stewart and even a stepford wife proud!

Little Wicker Chair

     

So my mom saw this as she drove past a garage sale in a small town in the Catskills and screamed for my dad to stop the car. For ten dollars she picked up this little chair for my toddler. It is in great shape but just needed a fresh coat of paint.

Eleanor decided to help me of course, as always.

 

Here's picture of the back, you can see that the paint has chipped pretty badly off the bottoms and that it just looks worn.

This is the paint I used. I love rust oleum products. I bought two cans and used one and some of two. It maybe could have been done with one can but intend to go heavy on the first coat.

 I save old boxed from toys to paint on so I don't get the grass all different colors. Lets be honest it ends up getting painted, but at least the bulk of it is on the box and there's no grass stuck to my project when its done.

 

After one heavy coat. It looks really nice. I like the antique white. It makes it more modern feeling but stays true to the style.

 

I gave it one more light coat and just went over the spots where it seemed like it needed it. I think it looks pretty good, though the sun may not do it justice.

Lillian seems to be enjoying her freshly painted chair! She loves being outside and we sit on the screen room every day. I think she will get some years of enjoyment out of this yard sale find!

Added Saftey of a Gate

When we put our flagstone patio we took a railing of a lower useless deck (it was too narrow to sit on and snakes just denned underneath it because it was right on the ground). So we saved some and my husband made a gate to keep our toddler from going down 14 stairs. He wasn't that handy when we married but three years in and he's made some progress! He made it all from recycled wood from the old deck. I'm still painting it but here are some pictures:

He had just finished building it with leftover wood from the old railing.

 

I still need to give it a second coat and go around the hinges but it looks pretty good!

The Railing is Done

This is a follow up post to my previous one regarding our screen room.

Securing Our Screen Room

 (This picture reminds me how badly we need to have the house painted. maybe next years budget.)

While we are still in the process of rescreening some of our more tattered screens thanks to our dogs, and the ones the squirrels literally ate through, I thought I would show our railing.

No more worrying about my toddler falling! YAY! coffee on the screen room can resume!

Securing Our Screen Room

When we bought our house it was winter. The inside of the home had been renovated but the outside was in direr need of some TLC. Nonetheless the weathered two story screen rooms were instantly my favorite rooms in the house. I love drinking coffee and looking out over the yard, my gardens and watching the dogs sunbath while thumbing through a magazine or a book. Since I had a baby these moments are limited but, very much valued.

However, when I had my daughter it became apparent to me that there was a problem. The elderly woman that owned the home before us, the original owner, never had children. She never worried about them falling two stories. It hadn't occurred to me that the screens went to the floor until I was on maternity leave and was sitting out there. Call it maternal instinct but, it suddenly hit me that something would need to change.

So after over a year of debating the best way to secure the second story screen room without it looking out of place or ruining my view I decided to go with preform rails from HOME DEPOT. these are very similar to the railings on the rest of the deck and I don't think take away from the aesthetic. I showed these pictures to my co-worker and he thought they added to the look, which made me very proud of my choice.

 

This project is taking us sometime because we have to stop and start with the baby and we had another hiccup when we discovered there was a large yellow jacket nest in our drainpipe. My poor husband was stung. (I think its safe to say this was a good inclination that we are overdue to clean the gutters). But I wanted to post some of our progress.

This is where I am going to give some credit to my husband. He was not very handy going into the marriage but he has really proved himself on this project. A man who never used a power tool until we were in our house, now had all the bolts and brackets and thought through almost all the issues. I was pretty proud.

 

 

We still have to do the other side and attach the rail behind the drainpipe. OH and put the screens back in, which I'm thinking I will replace because they are old and kind of dry rotted with some holes. But its coming along.

 

I'm also repainting all the existing white on the deck. it was definitely due, it hadn't been done since the year we moved in, three years ago.  I have to say projects that I would have done in a day now take 3-5 because I stop to play or feed or clean or just calm my little one. Kids really do make things go slower ! But they are only little once, so I try to embrace the 'breaks'.

 

 

Apparently our Cocker Spaniel rubbed against the rails because when we finally sat down at night we saw that Bon Bon looked like this. We should have named her Shadow because she always has to be with you even in the close to 100 degree heat and her new white markings prove that to be true.

 

I will  post once its complete but, I thought I would share our progress.

 

My latest obessession: Kate Spade New York

Kate Spade New York!
So, let me start from the beginning. I am a full time lawyer, mommy, wife, which means pretty much I'm all things to all people. I'm constantly busy, 10 minutes late and in a rush. I have to carry with me everything I need for 12 hours.  With a toddler, I'm finding I carry too many bags. A diaper bag, my work tote, my purse, whatever else I had to run in and pick up at the grocery store or the pharmacy.
So I have been on a quest for a good looking, larger tote style bag with some interior pockets and a optional cross body strap- because sometimes I just don't have a free arm.
But finding one I like, that is well made and cute is HARD!

I am not much for pattern and I do love designer bags, I'm a old fashion leather Coach girl. Last summer I 'broke' and modernized with a bowling bag style cross body satchel in grey leather from Michael Kors. And don't get me wrong its GREAT bag (a good addition to my gorgeous black coach satchel for winter and my painted leather beige purse for summer also Coach because I am who I am) but it sometimes is overflowing.

Point is I'm not really trendy usually when it comes to bags and I don't want a bunch clogging up my closet because I just don't need them. I just want well made, classic bags that I can use day in and day out without worry of broken handles and outdated patterns.

So why suddenly Kate Spade New York? Its easy: feminine design with scalloping or a small bow, and the STRIPES. I love her stripes!

cape drive card holder

*cape drive card holder

*Kate Spade New York Hawthorne Lane Small Ryan Tote - I LOVE this one but it doesn't have a long handle option. WHY KATE WHY?

*Kate Spade New York Catie Striped Bag

*Kate Spade New York Crossbody - Fairmount Square Monday - Black/Sandy Beach


Its pattern but when will stripes go out of style? I cant foresee it happening. But finding exactly what I want is near impossible, even if I go to other brands, that I can actually afford, so sorry Louis Vuitton, you're out.

But im having trouble finding one that is everything I wanted.


*This "cobble hill stripe adrien" is close and cute but its cotton and leather, how do you clean that when you accidently drop your coffee when your toddler starts a temper tantrum while holder her and everything else?


*This "cameron street stripe candace satchel " comes close but, I don't know if I like the firm square shape. It might be the closest I'm going to get though.

I have to wonder if other full time "all things to all people in all places at all times" have the same dilemmas I have?

*This is not a sponsored post. All of the above opinions are my own. All pictures are property of KATE SPADE NEW YORK https://www.katespade.com/.

Can't Keep Up!

Despite my best efforts I can't keep up with my housework, cooking, shopping list. It seems likes it never ends. Pre- baby I kept everything in its place and would not go to bed unless my house was camera ready at all times. Now, I'm lucky if there isn't toys under feet, laundry in the living room, and the office, we just keep that door closed because who has time to file?

My friends are proud of me being able to let go...  I honestly try to remember that these days with my daughter will fly by and remembering her smiles are more important than the mess. But it's really hard for me.

                     (she's "helping" me clean up boxes from her birthday)

My mantra right now is: I'm a full time lawyer, mother and wife. I can't do it all.

Ohh I wish I could. I'm spending as much time cropping the mess out of my photos as it would to clean it up, ok not ,true cropping is a lot faster, but still, I could probably at least fold some towels.

PaInT paint PAINT

The week before Easter my sister agreed, as she is always my partner in crime, to come and help me do some painting in my house. We moved in three years ago but the color of the main area I really liked, Agreeable Grey by Sherwin Williams and rest of the house was plain 'contractor cream'. We had painted the nursery a minty aqua (Valspar I can't remember the exact color) before our little one was born but other than that, I had just been doing touch up with the paint the contractors left. (Our house was a flip.)

All the walls were done with flat paint. I hated it from the moment we moved in. The creator of flat paint should be brought on trial. It shows every bump, mark, scrape. Not so friendly with a husband that's less than careful, dogs and a toddler. I had literally scrubbed down to the sheetrock in some places.) So I decided it was time to paint the guest room, which had seen better days after a friend had stayed with us for a period of time, the bathrooms and the hall. And this time use a washable, wipe-able paint, in a satin sheen.

I always use VALSPAR paint. I've tries Behr, Benjamin Moore, Glidden, Olympic, American Tradition (by Valspar), Dutch Boy, and that's just for wall paint. I could do a whole other post on spray-paint, furniture paint and polyurethane.

So this time I made the mistake of asking the sales person's opinion. I had picked all Sherwin Williams colors, because I just love their color wheel but, I had planned to buy Valspar. He told me he had been a rep for both and that he thought Sherwin Williams was more durable and that it was the only way to get a color guarantee.  Against my better judgment I made a rash decision, and went with Sherwin Williams.

I WONT MAKE THAT MISTAKE AGAIN.

Valspar is superior in my opinion and here's why. Sherwin Williams showed every roll, edge mark, change in pressure. It didn't cover as well as Valspar and therefore didn't go as far either. I mean don't get me wrong, if I couldn't get Valspar I would choose Sherwin Williams over Behr, Olympic and Dutch Boy (I can't remember what I didn't like about Benjamin Moore but I just remember not liking it as well).

~ I only photographed one bathroom. I painted both Sea Salt by SW. Its a chameleon color as its blue/gray/sage. it looks blue during the day in this bathroom and a slate grey at night but in the smaller downstairs bath, it looks more sage/grey. I really love it. If you don't want to commit, this is the color for you.~

Valspar pretty much covers in one coat, goes on even, you don't see streaks or marks from your edgework, assuming you don't drip or leave pressure lines, no paint can forgive that. It wipes down easily and wears well

I just like it better. Lesson learned. Going forward im going back to Valspar.  (Ohh but for trim work I like Glidden high gloss).

~The guest room we painted Anew Grey by SW. It was a last minute decision. My sister thought that my choice of Dorian Grey was too dark for this basement level one window room and she was right. As a note, we painted the hall Agreeable Grey again but in the satin sheen.~

If your thinking of painting I hope you will consider my review, because Valspar is superior. I know I know SW just bought Valspar- well all I can say is I pray they don't change the formula.

*this is not a sponsored post.

Humidifier Tip

Even though we are having a mild winter here in the Northeast, the heat is still on at my house. The lack of snow, hasn't meant a lack of dryness from my forced hot air heating system. With a little one in the house, there is a delicate balance of keeping her warm and not turning her into a sweat monster.

Since my daughter started daycare, she has struggled with colds. She has also had a cough on and off since she was small. The doctors and my mom have said repeatedly, keep her nose clear, use saline and a humidifier. I was lucky to have a coworker give me two humidifiers she wasn't using. I had one in the nursery and one in mine. But a few weeks ago, she had a terrible nose bleed that woke her up and scared me half to death. She had a few more after that and it seems that we now have it under control. But I realized that her play area in the house, and likely her daycare, does not have enough humidity.

I plan to have one put on our furnace but I haven't gotten to it yet. The money always seems to go to something else.  Luckily I went down to my grandmothers house, my personal antique and thrift stop, and did some more cleaning up and out. I found a humidifier in the box. I could see it had been used but it wasn't old. So I took it home. after washing it and cleaning it with vinegar,  I used a magic eraser to clean out the hard water deposits. My grandmothers water is very high in iron so you can see the orange residue clearly. I got as much as I could out but when I ran it I could still smell the deposits. So I decided to add some lavender essential oil.

Within minutes the whole house smelled of lavender. When my husband came home from work he commented on how nice the house smelled (normally he calls the humidifier the stinky water machine).

When I refilled the other humidifiers I added a few drops of the essential oil to them as well. No more stinky water machines. The house smells fantastic and we have much needed humidity.

I'm sure with would work with whatever essential oil you prefer but, remember to get high quality pure oils and remember that they are very concentrated. Its better to go lighter and add more later than to overpower with scent.

What does Zika mean for the Olympics?

With all the talk of Zika, what I haven't heard said is Rio 2016. The summer Olympic games are to be held in Rio de Janerio this summer. Few realize that people have already started going down to Brazil for qualifying trials. I know this because one of my best friend's boyfriend is competing. What about these people?  They go down for a few weeks to qualify and then come back. What are their chances of contracting and spreading the virus? Are appropriate measures being taken? We have learned that Zika can be transmitted sexually. So even if these people aren't pregnant, and I assume they are not, they can still bring the disease back with them.  We can't  assume that Olympic athletes wont be pregnant because I believe that the Olympics averages a certain number of pregnant women competing in each games. Not to mention, even if you aren't pregnant it makes you very ill.

As a new mom, I feel very strongly that we need to take an aggressive look at Zika. Transmission, cures, and how to protect unborn babies. I can't imagine the heartache of learning that a mosquito bite caused my baby to have incredible deformities. There are warnings that pregnant women shouldn't travel to infected areas. And, that women in affected areas should consider holding off on pregnancy until 2018. (This is something that is very interesting, telling a woman that may be at the end of childbearing years, that she has to wait. This may be a first world issue and not so much an issue for Brazil, but still, we should think about how this virus is effecting women's reproductive choices.) I am aware that the evidence is not conclusive yet that Zika causes microcephaly, the most linked birth defect to the virus.
Do we have time to wait for the research to conclusively decide when in a matter of months the largest international event will be at the center of the outbreak?

There is an underwhelming article in the NY Times from January of this year that states that 500,000 people are expected at the games this summer. Approximately 200,000 of them will be Americans. You can read this extremely brief article here. It doesn't mention the trials that are going on now. It is silent on the lack of public concern by the International Olympic Committee. CNN also wrote an article, a bit better than the NY Times in my opinion (and I never thought I would say that). It states that there were concerns with Rio hosting the Olympics before the Zika epidemic. They estimate that 600,000 are expected to attend and 16,000 athletes. They ask, should the Olympics be postponed? Can Rio handle hosting the Olympics and battling an epidemic at the same time?  To read that article visit it here.

This a my photo taken during my trip in 2009.

I have my own concerns about Brazil hosting the event. I went to Rio and the Pantanal during law school. I traveled around meeting with different people from different regions, the government, the indigenous communities and just sightseeing. But I was warned, stay away from the edges of the cities and don't go in the water after it rains. That's because the favelas are so dangerous that a blonde haired blue eyed American like myself would be a target in the favelas. As for rain, there is an inadequate sewage system in Rio, so when it rains raw sewage goes into the ocean. did I mention hat when the waves get so high that some of the streets flood? Don't wear open shoes after it rains either. So a city that cant handle it existing sewage, in my opinion, shouldn't be hosting a huge international event because of basic health concerns. Add Zika virus to the mix and by a month after the games we will have an international crisis.

This is my photo taken during my trip in 2009.

Is the International Olympic Committee even talking about this? Have they offered to contribute funds to research? Can they really handle another embarrassment after Sochi? Do they care about the athletes and their families, friends, co-workers, people of the world in general?! One has to wonder.


by Amy Z