A quick note on a Mom Blog

I sometimes feel that modern mothering can be isolating and constantly defeating. You work full time then you come home and do all the housework, cooking, cleaning (I cant justify a cleaning lady in my budget) pay the bills, spend time with your child (you know that quality time that you need to squeeze in between work and bed), do the bath time routine, do the bedtime routine, and then I'm totally shot. I mean really, my DVR is so full I don't know if I have enough room for this weeks shows.  (I'm not knocking stay at home moms. They don't have it easier either. Yes they can cook and clean while caring for the kids but you still have to take care of the kids - so I do believe that it might be easier to get everything in during your day, I don't necessarily think its easier).
Then there is Pinterest which I love, but it shows you how awesome others are and how not awesome you are. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, where we put the best of the best and never show the reality behind the camera. And at the end of the day your exhausted and you cant understand why you couldn't paper-mâché a ballerina and crochet a mermaid blanket all while meticulously decorating your immaculately clean home...

Sometimes its just too much. So I read momtastic a few times a week. A blog written by real moms with real stories about their life, which usually isn't so perfect. Celebrity moms and moms next door, single moms, married moms, stay at home moms, working moms, they are all covered. Complain about your husband not understanding, the reality of a picky eater, questions for others- Its all there. I really love this blog. I have no association to them, but I wish they wanted me to write for them. Its awesome!

Party for a Purpose

Over the weekend, my husband, myself, sister, 'to be' brother-in-law and a number of our friends attended a fundraiser for a foundation in memory of our teammate that died of cancer at the age of 21. Kellie was a happy inspiring person, before, during and now after her battle with cancer. She always remembered to be kind and put others first. She really didn't have a mean bone in her body.

Her family started this foundation in her memory and continue to do the work she was doing. We also started a scholarship for our college rugby team in her name.

Its funny though, its been a few years now and I don't feel as emotional about it anymore. She had died before I had my cancer and while another '20 something' friend of ours had beat his cancer. She reminded us that we are fallible. Nonetheless, I look forward.

But at the fundraiser her always positive father, clearly the source of her positivity, got up and gave a speech. He told us that in the moment, BE KIND. That's how we will honor her memory.

At that moment I started to cry. I did not always remember to be kind. To be honest its my first instinct to be defensive and aggressive; I have to consciously act kind. I don't fail necessarily at being kind but, it doesn't really come naturally to a glass half full, a lot of shit has gone down in my years, kinda person. Another reason for my emotional outburst was that I don't know if I could have been him. Standing there laughing, smiling, reminding us to be kind. He watched his child die. A wonderful person whose life was cut too short. He was with her when she decided to stop treatment because it wasn't working. He was with her when she couldn't eat but wanted to drink her last Keystone (she would have been a senior in college and it was only fitting that it be a cheap college beer). I think I may have crawled in a hole and never recovered. I get depressed if I have a car accident, if my basset hound stinks up my blankets and if there is sticky on the floor from my daughters snack. But not them. They started the foundation shortly after her death. They donate money to the college and our scholarship. They continue her charitable work in Haiti. They remember to BE KIND.




My 'to be' sister-in-law sent a letter to each bridesmaid describing the others. Under my name she said I was classy if not anything. I never think of myself that way. I always see myself as a hot mess barely holding it together and struggling to remember to be kind to others. It was such a compliment to be called classy. But, if she had called me kind, would I have seen that as an insult? Would I have thought she thought I was weak? Probably. And I would have been wrong. So I will graciously accept classy, but I am going to keep working on being KIND. Because Kellie understood something in her 21 years that I am still struggling with. And if she died to teach the rest of us the importance of kindness, then I will strive to honor her legacy.

Because kindness is not a weakness, its a sign of strength, compassion and class.  Thank you to Kellie and her family for showing me that.

Halloween! Our first time trick or treating!

This year was my daughters first year trick or treating. My husband even carved a mickey mouse clubhouse inspired pumpkin in honor of her favorite show.

We only made it to five houses before she had a meltdown but she did pretty well considering she isn't two yet. She wouldn't say trick or treat but, she knew that if she put that pumpkin our they would put a treat in it. After the first house she ran to the next one. She wouldn't give up her bink but, she did drop her play cell phone in her pumpkin. Everyone thought she was so cute, we went to some of our neighbors that I have gotten to know. Especially me. I almost felt teary eyed when I saw how big she had gotten. Where does the time go?

I know I cant stop her from growing up, and I don't want to, but I do with the days would go slower, at least the hours where I get to spend them with her. I never thought motherhood was for me and now all I want is to be a mom and a homemaker (basically because I love to DIY, clean and decorate lol). Yea, I love my job and its a huge part of me and my personality. I definitely couldn't stand not making my own money. And I don't think being in the house all day would be good for my mental health.  And even if I could stand it, we couldn't afford it. Nonetheless, I have to admit, being a mom is way better than a thought it would be. On Halloween with little kids running around excited for candy in their cute costumes, I remembered what it was to be a kid and how lucky I was to have one of my own.

Why Children NEED Pets

I feel quite strongly about this issue. Many of my co-workers think I'm crazy to have two dogs, a cat, and a toddler. They can't understand why I would take on so much extra work for an animal. One feels some sort of weird distain for animals, which in my opinion is a sign that something is wrong with them and that they are not to be trusted because that's just not natural. I admit pets aren't for everyone. If you travel a lot, have mobility issues, financial restrains, certain housing issues, or other various reasons then a pet may not be for you. But for me, pets bring me great joy and increase my qualify of life.

Further, I don't know any different and honestly I don't want to.

Background:
I grew up with a dog and a cat... and two turtles, 5 rabbits , fish tanks, lizards (warning crickets chirp at night on feeding night), hermit crabs (warning they smell) and I'm sure some other stuff along the way. The dog had ALOT of energy and as a result spent a lot of time outside. She wasn't neglected or anything, she had a very nice shelter, was fed and watered, given medical care, played with, exercised but, I look back and wish I had been old enough to fight to keep her in with us more.  (I was only 4 when we got her.)

My parents saw no issue at that time with a dog being outside, as them now and they couldn't fathom it because who would keep them warm at night?

My paternal grandfather raised hunting dogs. Beagles mostly. They were, from what I understand, award winning hunting dogs and a family friend still breeds dogs from his line. My grandfather didn't do it for money, in fact I don't think he even took much money for the dogs, as long as they were going to good homes that really wanted them. My grandfather loved the outdoors and he, my father, their cousins and friends hunted together regularly. (Yes being an environmentalist, an outdoorsman and a hunter are not counter intuitive.) They loved the dogs but, with so many and a small house they had kennels. That's normal for hunting dogs. They weren't the house dog, my grandma had one of those as well. They also always had a large German Shepard mix to protect the kennels from animals and theft. If you ask me the 'guard dogs' were really ponies for me and tea party playmates but, I guess I saw a different side of them. My mother grew up in the country and also didn't think it weird to keep a dog outside.

But times have changed and now the dogs sleep in our beds, vacation with us and get their own Christmas stockings (ok well they always had Christmas stockings.)

Every house needs a cat and I'm not a cat person. They do their own thing mostly and if you have an indoor cat the litter sucks but,  its been found that a cats purr can help heal joints and other injuries (here's a link)  and if you get a mouse they come in handy as well.

But, as usual, I digress...

The Need for a Pet:
So on to why CHILDREN NEED A PET. I am talking specifically about the common pets, dogs and cats, but any kind of pet can teach these lessons. There are so many benefits to children who have pets and here's 7 Reasons:

1. Pets teach love. Doggie kisses, night time snuggles, a little or big shadow, learning to hug and gently pet your pets is huge. The love you feel for a pet and the dedication and unconditional love they give back is incomparable to anything else.

2. Pets teach kindness. This builds on love. "You had to be gentle with the dog." "Pet the cat nicely and she will purr." The pet had to learn to be gentle with the baby as well. The pets are our responsibility and we must love them and show them kindness.  If we can't be kind to a life we are responsible for how can we expect our children to be kind to strangers on the street or animals in the wild?

3. Pets teach respect. Even the gentlest dog or cat had its limits. Children learn that there are boundaries and that you must respect the dogs food bowl, ball or tail or whatever that pet sees as a boundary. You must respect the dog/cat pet and in return the pet respects and in the case of a dog protects you.

4. Pets teach patience. They can't speak, logic through an issue or think like us. They know food is food and no matter how well trained, given the chance, I've never seen a dog resist a hotdog.  You must learn that you can't leave things to tempt them and that you have to understand that they are animals. Sometimes a dirty sock seems like a good chew toy.  They don't care that your in a hurry if they haven't found that perfect spot to do their business. You must have patience with an animal.

5. Pets provide companionship. An only child doesn't feel alone if their parents are busy because they can play with the dog or just 'watch' TV together. Fighting with your sibling? Don't worry Spot knows just how to make you feel better. You have a new baby sister and mom is always holding her? Well your cat will make a perfect baby. (My poor cat knew this all to well, she wore a baby bonnet and was held like a baby more than she wasn't.) I can go do laundry in the basement and not take a baby monitor. If she wakes from her nap or starts crying the dogs come get me. If she's getting a clean diaper don't worry the one dog must sit and watch every time and wont leave the room first. The dog is the family's companion.

6. Pets teach responsibility. The dog needs to go out or be walked. The floors need to be swept more because of pet hair. The cat litter needs to be cleaned or the dogs yard 'presents' need to be cleaned up. They must be fed, brushed, taught commands, taken to the vet, exercised and so on. These tasks may add to your 'to do' list but, having children help with these tasks, when age appropriate, can help teach your children what it is to be responsible for another living creature. A task that most children will face in adulthood.

7. Pets are good for your health. This is a fact, they have done numerous studies on this. Children who grow up with pets are less likely to have allergies, owning a pet decreases blood pressure, cholesterol and triglyceride levels, pets give their owners a sense of purpose and are often used in a therapy setting as they also increase mood. I'm sure there are other benefits but, these are some of the most common ones cited in studies.

So if you are contemplating the extra work of a pet and have a child, maybe this list will help you decide.

  ~ Amy

Someone said I should blog....

Over the weekend I attended a bridal shower for a college friend.  While sipping sangria at the table someone got a stain. I quickly rattled off some cleaning tips and just thought we would move on. But one woman, we also went to college together, commented on how I seem to know how to clean everything. Its true, my mom always wanted to get stains out and there wasn't money to just throw something away and get a new one because of a small hole or a stain. We mended our clothes and removed stains. Now, I'm not saying we let things get thread barren but, we didn't toss something for sometime small. We simply fixed it.

My college roommate then talked about how I turned her on to Lestoil, my favorite laundry cleaner for oily stains and red sauces, the other woman goes to me "you should start a blog!" 'Well, I said, in fact I have. I doubt too many read it but, I figure when my daughter is grown and wants to find my cleaning solutions that she can check here.'

I thought it was such a compliment! I hope that someday my daughter does use this as a resource and teaches our tricks to others.  Then my mothers legacy will live on :)

Just Call me Suzy Homemaker

On Sunday, I decided to tackle some tasks outside while the weather was still with me. I had some things that I wanted to paint, if it isn't neutral it needs to be, and my pesky pinecone wreath still hadn't been sprayed. So I took to spraying the items that had piled up, the wreath picture frames, etc. If you had read my past posts I'm sure you have realized that I am crazy for spray-paint. Particularly spray paint that is black, white, metallic, and that's it really. So here's the wreath:

My husband agreed to forgo his beloved football, as long as he could check the stats, and help me winterize while we were outside. Let me tell you, winterizing and spray painting can be challenging tasks when you have a 20 month old. She was constantly climbing on things as we moved them around, getting under tarps and covers and even grabbed a few sprayed items resulting is war-calls on my part to prevent her from wiping the paint on her jacket. Luckily, her favorite dog was willing to entertain her a bit.

In the end we got alot done. Hoses were put away, lawn items that don't like our northeastern winters brought in, birdbath tipped, table covered, and my chairs stacked and covered.

However, we are having an Indian summer. I feel the last few years we have had this where the fall is as warm as summer.  In fact today it is over 80 degrees. As a result my flower pots still look pretty good. While I did prep my front steps for fall with pumpkins and a mum, the buckets in the back were too pretty to dump/cover, so I will have to go back out. Its worth it for a few more weeks of pretty color. I also left my screen room chairs uncovered since my toddler has a obsession with going out there to play. She is going to be VERY upset when it gets too cold.


ONCE we were done with that I decided to do some baking. I made a chicken pot pie, a apple pie, and homemade applesauce. Let me tell you, don't use salt in your applesauce! I used a online recipe and it called for a small amount of salt, that in the end pretty much ruined my applesauce. But my pot pie and apple pie were perfection. The apples I picked off the trees myself and  made the crust myself (my great-grandmothers recipe).

I took the pie to work because my husband and I are trying to watch our weight, and it was a huge hit! People said it was the best pie they had ever had. Glad to hear I made my mom proud. But to be honest, on Sunday I would have made Martha Stewart and even a stepford wife proud!

Little Wicker Chair

     

So my mom saw this as she drove past a garage sale in a small town in the Catskills and screamed for my dad to stop the car. For ten dollars she picked up this little chair for my toddler. It is in great shape but just needed a fresh coat of paint.

Eleanor decided to help me of course, as always.

 

Here's picture of the back, you can see that the paint has chipped pretty badly off the bottoms and that it just looks worn.

This is the paint I used. I love rust oleum products. I bought two cans and used one and some of two. It maybe could have been done with one can but intend to go heavy on the first coat.

 I save old boxed from toys to paint on so I don't get the grass all different colors. Lets be honest it ends up getting painted, but at least the bulk of it is on the box and there's no grass stuck to my project when its done.

 

After one heavy coat. It looks really nice. I like the antique white. It makes it more modern feeling but stays true to the style.

 

I gave it one more light coat and just went over the spots where it seemed like it needed it. I think it looks pretty good, though the sun may not do it justice.

Lillian seems to be enjoying her freshly painted chair! She loves being outside and we sit on the screen room every day. I think she will get some years of enjoyment out of this yard sale find!