Newborn and Mommy get the Flu

It happened. I never leave as I said in a previous post. We hibernate during flu season with winter babies. But I mean we do see people. and i always let other people hold the baby because its important for him to be able to go to someone besides me so that I can run errands, go back to work, and to decrease stress for him around others.
He was 7 weeks old when my daughters birthday came, which was Superbowl. We had a family party, just uncles, aunts, and grandparents on that Saturday and we had some friends over on Superbowl who all have small children and babies so we figured they too would be flu conscious. I put hand sanitizer on ever surface and asked that everyone just wash their hands when handling the baby.
The road to hell is paved with good intentions. And my good intentions were not rewarded.
My mother in law, unwittingly, brought the flu to us. She didn't have symptoms until Monday. I didn't know she had it and started feeling dizzy and developed a cough on Tuesday. Tuesday night my husband informed me 'ohh mom has the flu.' I freaked. I went immediately to urgent care and demanded a flu test which they thought was crazy because I didn't have flu symptoms. Well,I tested positive for the flu. I started to cry and asked what to do about the baby. I started tamiflu. I called the pediatrician for advice. I kept breastfeeding, disinfected the house top to bottom, worse a mask, washed my hands constantly, applied hand sanitizer as well for good measure.
I started to feel better and continued to wear a mask. My husband sealed our fate though one week after I got sick. He declares that the baby didn't get it.  That afternoon he had discharge in his eye. I called the doctor. They said ohh its nothing if there's no fever. That night he came down with a high fever and we were sent by our pediatrician to the Emergency Room. A bunch of tests later, he also tested positive for the flu. It was so scary. We had to check in with the pediatrician. He developed a ear infection and every time he sneezed, coughed, snorted, whined I jumped. I would not take my eyes off of him. Grandparents came in to help watch him so I could do basic things because I was unwilling to even go to the bathroom without eyes on him. I was so scared he would choke or his airway would block and he would die. I was scared his fever would shoot up if i wasn't checking him constantly and he would have a seizure. I've said it before, I'm a worrier. But he is a toughy and we made it. We are both on the mend and I cant believe how well it went. I don't recommend it of course but the doctor said we had a best case scenario and its because we caught it so early and got him on Tamiflu early.
The following week my mother in law tested positive for the OTHER strain of flu. I politely told her we wouldn't be seeing her any time soon. I cant handle going through that again. But my worst fears were realized and we survived. We basically lost the month of February to illness but I can't complain because we made it through.
My best advise is act fast. if you think something is wrong don't hesitate, even if your husband thinks your crazy or even your doctor. you know best. Trust your gut. I wasn't able to prevent the flu but I was able to make sure we survived it, in one of hte most deadly flu seasons in recent history.

Blog Lover

I have been really slacking on my blogging as of late. Toss it off to a heavy workload at work, exhaustion from potty training and stubborn 2 year old, exhaustion from my pregnancy, and desperately trying to get ready for baby no. 2 (which I'm failing at miserably and may have a baby in a drawer in ten weeks- exaggeration but you get my point.)

Nonetheless, while I am currently living in a state of rearrangement chaos at home (due to changing the office/overflow clothes storage and whatever else I throw in there to a nursery) I still love home and design blogs. 

I do find it hard to balance a styled home with a cluttered home. Its a balance: decorated but not cluttered or overwhelming.  I think a lot of people like me who love a beautiful home but aren't natural, or professional, interior designers and cant afford to hire one, struggle with.

So here's a list of some blogs I like for inspiration:

https://www.kellyelko.com/
- This blog used to be called eclectically vintage. And that's what I like about it. Eclectic and vintage are two things that work in my transitional, comfortable, farmhouse touches, natural element personal style.

http://www.thewoodgraincottage.com/
- Great if your are into natural elements and or farmhouse style. The only issue is that she seems to have taken a bit into that cluttered overwhelming stage. Its seems like there is now a lot going on. So I honestly don't check this as regularly. That said she has some great ideas and i love a good DIY project inspiration. She also uses texture like no other!

http://thenester.com/
This is one of the first Home interior blogs that I got into. She was a renter that had done a fantastic job making rentals look like home on a budget. a few years ago they bought and remodeled an old mill house. I don't know if her style has changed or mine but im not as in love with the styling as of late but her motto is "It doesn't have to be perfect to be beautiful" and that's a motto I want to live by.

http://houseofturquoise.com/
This is a color design blog. And to know me is to know my obsession with all things turquoise or any tealish/minty shade. She posts some of her own home but mostly swoons at design posts from other blogs or magazines. If you love the upbeat color like I do, this is a must.

http://cococozy.com/
This one i follow more on instagram and twitter than anything. Its not totally my taste but sometimes i need a change and something chic. This is my go to for that.

http://dearlillieblog.blogspot.com/
This one, can this woman please come decorate my house. She just gets me. Sophisticated, rustic, great wall color usage (I'm just not a white wall girl) but not colored.  I mean clearly she has good taste we even named our daughters the same name! I love this one. Alot.

*I have no relationship with these bloggers other than I am a reader.

Over committed

I am over committed. I haven't blogged in a while because of it. I haven't done a lot of things, like organize my drawers, file the mail, clean up the storage closet, put away the last size of baby clothes, that are still sitting in the bottom of my daughters closet and the list goes on.

I am over committed at work. I have a number of assignments that are incredibility time consuming. I am I love my work, its totally fulfilling but, it can be draining. I mean I am not that special, people always say government workers are lazy, they don't do their work on time. Its not true, we have so much work that we cant get it all done, well at least most of us, there are of course a few...

I am overcommitted in my personal life. I am on my alumni committee, I am a matron of honor in a wedding this year (one of my best friends) and next year (my sister) and a bridesmaid (my brother). I am attending other weddings, communions, baby showers, throwing parties for family members and the list of events go on. My husband isn't much better, with two jobs, in weddings and overcommitted.

We give. We give to our families, our friends but not so much ourselves. And no one seems to notice and say 'hey do you  guys need anything?'

I spend a lot of time thinking about my breaking point. Sometimes I feel like I'm getting close to it.

Will today be the day that pushes me over the edge?

Will I totally lose it and refuse to go to work or throw things all over the house because I'm losing the battle on cleanliness?

Its is very possible that tomorrow might be the day. Or the next. I mean if I have to deal with one more responsibility I might go crazy, be that crazy woman in the grocery store that talks to herself in a sarcastic tone, her hair is a mess and she looks like a zombie. That might be me soon.
But until then I will just keep bringing this candle from both ends. As I'm sure most working moms feel.

A quick note on a Mom Blog

I sometimes feel that modern mothering can be isolating and constantly defeating. You work full time then you come home and do all the housework, cooking, cleaning (I cant justify a cleaning lady in my budget) pay the bills, spend time with your child (you know that quality time that you need to squeeze in between work and bed), do the bath time routine, do the bedtime routine, and then I'm totally shot. I mean really, my DVR is so full I don't know if I have enough room for this weeks shows.  (I'm not knocking stay at home moms. They don't have it easier either. Yes they can cook and clean while caring for the kids but you still have to take care of the kids - so I do believe that it might be easier to get everything in during your day, I don't necessarily think its easier).
Then there is Pinterest which I love, but it shows you how awesome others are and how not awesome you are. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, where we put the best of the best and never show the reality behind the camera. And at the end of the day your exhausted and you cant understand why you couldn't paper-mâché a ballerina and crochet a mermaid blanket all while meticulously decorating your immaculately clean home...

Sometimes its just too much. So I read momtastic a few times a week. A blog written by real moms with real stories about their life, which usually isn't so perfect. Celebrity moms and moms next door, single moms, married moms, stay at home moms, working moms, they are all covered. Complain about your husband not understanding, the reality of a picky eater, questions for others- Its all there. I really love this blog. I have no association to them, but I wish they wanted me to write for them. Its awesome!

Party for a Purpose

Over the weekend, my husband, myself, sister, 'to be' brother-in-law and a number of our friends attended a fundraiser for a foundation in memory of our teammate that died of cancer at the age of 21. Kellie was a happy inspiring person, before, during and now after her battle with cancer. She always remembered to be kind and put others first. She really didn't have a mean bone in her body.

Her family started this foundation in her memory and continue to do the work she was doing. We also started a scholarship for our college rugby team in her name.

Its funny though, its been a few years now and I don't feel as emotional about it anymore. She had died before I had my cancer and while another '20 something' friend of ours had beat his cancer. She reminded us that we are fallible. Nonetheless, I look forward.

But at the fundraiser her always positive father, clearly the source of her positivity, got up and gave a speech. He told us that in the moment, BE KIND. That's how we will honor her memory.

At that moment I started to cry. I did not always remember to be kind. To be honest its my first instinct to be defensive and aggressive; I have to consciously act kind. I don't fail necessarily at being kind but, it doesn't really come naturally to a glass half full, a lot of shit has gone down in my years, kinda person. Another reason for my emotional outburst was that I don't know if I could have been him. Standing there laughing, smiling, reminding us to be kind. He watched his child die. A wonderful person whose life was cut too short. He was with her when she decided to stop treatment because it wasn't working. He was with her when she couldn't eat but wanted to drink her last Keystone (she would have been a senior in college and it was only fitting that it be a cheap college beer). I think I may have crawled in a hole and never recovered. I get depressed if I have a car accident, if my basset hound stinks up my blankets and if there is sticky on the floor from my daughters snack. But not them. They started the foundation shortly after her death. They donate money to the college and our scholarship. They continue her charitable work in Haiti. They remember to BE KIND.




My 'to be' sister-in-law sent a letter to each bridesmaid describing the others. Under my name she said I was classy if not anything. I never think of myself that way. I always see myself as a hot mess barely holding it together and struggling to remember to be kind to others. It was such a compliment to be called classy. But, if she had called me kind, would I have seen that as an insult? Would I have thought she thought I was weak? Probably. And I would have been wrong. So I will graciously accept classy, but I am going to keep working on being KIND. Because Kellie understood something in her 21 years that I am still struggling with. And if she died to teach the rest of us the importance of kindness, then I will strive to honor her legacy.

Because kindness is not a weakness, its a sign of strength, compassion and class.  Thank you to Kellie and her family for showing me that.

Halloween! Our first time trick or treating!

This year was my daughters first year trick or treating. My husband even carved a mickey mouse clubhouse inspired pumpkin in honor of her favorite show.

We only made it to five houses before she had a meltdown but she did pretty well considering she isn't two yet. She wouldn't say trick or treat but, she knew that if she put that pumpkin our they would put a treat in it. After the first house she ran to the next one. She wouldn't give up her bink but, she did drop her play cell phone in her pumpkin. Everyone thought she was so cute, we went to some of our neighbors that I have gotten to know. Especially me. I almost felt teary eyed when I saw how big she had gotten. Where does the time go?

I know I cant stop her from growing up, and I don't want to, but I do with the days would go slower, at least the hours where I get to spend them with her. I never thought motherhood was for me and now all I want is to be a mom and a homemaker (basically because I love to DIY, clean and decorate lol). Yea, I love my job and its a huge part of me and my personality. I definitely couldn't stand not making my own money. And I don't think being in the house all day would be good for my mental health.  And even if I could stand it, we couldn't afford it. Nonetheless, I have to admit, being a mom is way better than a thought it would be. On Halloween with little kids running around excited for candy in their cute costumes, I remembered what it was to be a kid and how lucky I was to have one of my own.

Why Children NEED Pets

I feel quite strongly about this issue. Many of my co-workers think I'm crazy to have two dogs, a cat, and a toddler. They can't understand why I would take on so much extra work for an animal. One feels some sort of weird distain for animals, which in my opinion is a sign that something is wrong with them and that they are not to be trusted because that's just not natural. I admit pets aren't for everyone. If you travel a lot, have mobility issues, financial restrains, certain housing issues, or other various reasons then a pet may not be for you. But for me, pets bring me great joy and increase my qualify of life.

Further, I don't know any different and honestly I don't want to.

Background:
I grew up with a dog and a cat... and two turtles, 5 rabbits , fish tanks, lizards (warning crickets chirp at night on feeding night), hermit crabs (warning they smell) and I'm sure some other stuff along the way. The dog had ALOT of energy and as a result spent a lot of time outside. She wasn't neglected or anything, she had a very nice shelter, was fed and watered, given medical care, played with, exercised but, I look back and wish I had been old enough to fight to keep her in with us more.  (I was only 4 when we got her.)

My parents saw no issue at that time with a dog being outside, as them now and they couldn't fathom it because who would keep them warm at night?

My paternal grandfather raised hunting dogs. Beagles mostly. They were, from what I understand, award winning hunting dogs and a family friend still breeds dogs from his line. My grandfather didn't do it for money, in fact I don't think he even took much money for the dogs, as long as they were going to good homes that really wanted them. My grandfather loved the outdoors and he, my father, their cousins and friends hunted together regularly. (Yes being an environmentalist, an outdoorsman and a hunter are not counter intuitive.) They loved the dogs but, with so many and a small house they had kennels. That's normal for hunting dogs. They weren't the house dog, my grandma had one of those as well. They also always had a large German Shepard mix to protect the kennels from animals and theft. If you ask me the 'guard dogs' were really ponies for me and tea party playmates but, I guess I saw a different side of them. My mother grew up in the country and also didn't think it weird to keep a dog outside.

But times have changed and now the dogs sleep in our beds, vacation with us and get their own Christmas stockings (ok well they always had Christmas stockings.)

Every house needs a cat and I'm not a cat person. They do their own thing mostly and if you have an indoor cat the litter sucks but,  its been found that a cats purr can help heal joints and other injuries (here's a link)  and if you get a mouse they come in handy as well.

But, as usual, I digress...

The Need for a Pet:
So on to why CHILDREN NEED A PET. I am talking specifically about the common pets, dogs and cats, but any kind of pet can teach these lessons. There are so many benefits to children who have pets and here's 7 Reasons:

1. Pets teach love. Doggie kisses, night time snuggles, a little or big shadow, learning to hug and gently pet your pets is huge. The love you feel for a pet and the dedication and unconditional love they give back is incomparable to anything else.

2. Pets teach kindness. This builds on love. "You had to be gentle with the dog." "Pet the cat nicely and she will purr." The pet had to learn to be gentle with the baby as well. The pets are our responsibility and we must love them and show them kindness.  If we can't be kind to a life we are responsible for how can we expect our children to be kind to strangers on the street or animals in the wild?

3. Pets teach respect. Even the gentlest dog or cat had its limits. Children learn that there are boundaries and that you must respect the dogs food bowl, ball or tail or whatever that pet sees as a boundary. You must respect the dog/cat pet and in return the pet respects and in the case of a dog protects you.

4. Pets teach patience. They can't speak, logic through an issue or think like us. They know food is food and no matter how well trained, given the chance, I've never seen a dog resist a hotdog.  You must learn that you can't leave things to tempt them and that you have to understand that they are animals. Sometimes a dirty sock seems like a good chew toy.  They don't care that your in a hurry if they haven't found that perfect spot to do their business. You must have patience with an animal.

5. Pets provide companionship. An only child doesn't feel alone if their parents are busy because they can play with the dog or just 'watch' TV together. Fighting with your sibling? Don't worry Spot knows just how to make you feel better. You have a new baby sister and mom is always holding her? Well your cat will make a perfect baby. (My poor cat knew this all to well, she wore a baby bonnet and was held like a baby more than she wasn't.) I can go do laundry in the basement and not take a baby monitor. If she wakes from her nap or starts crying the dogs come get me. If she's getting a clean diaper don't worry the one dog must sit and watch every time and wont leave the room first. The dog is the family's companion.

6. Pets teach responsibility. The dog needs to go out or be walked. The floors need to be swept more because of pet hair. The cat litter needs to be cleaned or the dogs yard 'presents' need to be cleaned up. They must be fed, brushed, taught commands, taken to the vet, exercised and so on. These tasks may add to your 'to do' list but, having children help with these tasks, when age appropriate, can help teach your children what it is to be responsible for another living creature. A task that most children will face in adulthood.

7. Pets are good for your health. This is a fact, they have done numerous studies on this. Children who grow up with pets are less likely to have allergies, owning a pet decreases blood pressure, cholesterol and triglyceride levels, pets give their owners a sense of purpose and are often used in a therapy setting as they also increase mood. I'm sure there are other benefits but, these are some of the most common ones cited in studies.

So if you are contemplating the extra work of a pet and have a child, maybe this list will help you decide.

  ~ Amy