I am an active person. I am constantly cleaning my house, reorganizing, working, researching, DIYing, gardening, landscaping, playing with my dogs... you get the picture. But weight has always been a struggle. Yesterday a co-worker made a comment about my weight. Now, he prefaced it with you seem like someone who isn't sensative about it, and in that aspect I take that to be a compliment becuase he thinks I'm stronger than to be sensitive. But in reality I am sensative. Weight has always been an issue for me. I have been yo-yo dieting since the 5th grade and have lost 30, 75, and 90 lbs, of course gaining it back inbetween. Always to the same weight. Its very frustrating.
Reality is having been though this, I know how different people treat you when you are thin versus when you are heavy. Noone sees blonde hair, blue eyes, white straight teeth, or four degrees earned all before 28. They see weight. Its sad but true. Well I felt bad about it for about 12 hours and then I realized that this was the wake up call I needed. I cannot accept this any longer. Its time to start to fight again. This will be my lifelong battle but I refuse to go through life hating myself and resenting myself and food. Yes, I am a naturally bigger perrson. I gain weight easier than other people and I have some bad eating habits (I eat all my feelings from happy to sad) but thats no excuse.
I must fight! For myself, for my pride, for my family. So I know I will have to work hard and it will take time but just you "weight and see!"
No comments:
Post a Comment