Workout / Weight Slump

Slump is an understatement. I'm in the grand canyon. My weight has been something that I have struggled with, consciously, since I was five years old. I started dieting in the 5th grade and have had severe yo-yoing ever since. And not 5 lbs: down 75 up 90 down 90 up 100. Its awful for my body and my spirit.

I only gained 8 pound during my pregnancy but I started it in a heavy phase. My top pregnancy weight was the heaviest I have ever been. I am now only two pounds shy of that number and it makes me what to cry on a daily basis. (so much for breastfeeding shedding the pounds.)
Why do I keep bending my elbow? what does food give me that a fit body wouldn't?

I know how wonderful it is to be fit. People treat you differently, you feel fantastic and my health is generally better, plus I can show that I have some decent fashion sense- something I don't do when I'm 'hiding' in my fat clothes.

I keep trying to get motivated, apps, mean plans, gym membership and classes but I cant do it. Don't get me wrong I work out at least weekly (not enough I know but better than some of my skinny friends) and I am an active person. But I feel terrible about myself.

So in an effort to get motivated, I have been reading some fit mommy blogs and I have noticed a trend: running.
http://www.coffeecakeandcardio.com/
http://www.rungiarun.com/
http://www.happyfitmama.com/
http://www.foodfitnessandfamilyblog.com/
http://anothermotherrunner.com/

They all run. Personally, I love zumba. I have always loved to dance and I will not stop taking these classes as I swear by them. Even heavy, they have helped keep me fit. I zumba-ed the night I went into labor and as a result of my bi weekly classes I never held water in my ankles and truly believe handled labor better (even though I ended up needed a emergency C-section).  But I need to control my diet and lose the weight. And when I was my smallest, I ran, ALOT. So I am going to try to start again.

 NOW WHEN TO DO THAT.....

I work full time and my husband works two jobs. Time to myself is limited and my little one doesn't seem to understand that mommy can't hold her and play toys all the time.

In law school, I worked out after I did my homework/reading. Yes, I was a 11 pm gym rat. But now a days, with a infant who wakes for her morning feeding at 5, this night hawk schedule isn't working. That and by 11pm I'm just too tired and have too much to do to prep for the next day to go to the gym. And most nights my husband is still at work and I don't have someone to stay with the baby. So, reality is, I need to work out in the morning. I always said I never understood why people did that to themselves, but now I understand. They had to.

So I'm going back to my college and lawschool days, making myself a strict rise to bed schedule and starting morning workouts.

Wish me luck or maybe motivation? Because 5 am is SO EARLY to be running...